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Apple sued because devices made lawyer addicted to porn

A Nashville lawyer is filing a suit against Apple because its devices are capable of displaying porn, and the lawyer is incapable of not looking at it.

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It seems some attorneys enjoy pornography a little more than the rest of us. A lawyer from Nashville, Tennessee has just filed a rather hilarious 50 page lawsuit against Apple for selling devices that can display adult material. The lawyer, Chris Sevier, believes Apple is negligent for allowing direct, unfiltered access to the internet without some form of blocking system.

Sevier opens his lawsuit by stating that he loves Apple products, but that he is “concerned with the welfare of our Nation’s children, while furthering pro-American values.” Though, in truth, he might be concerned with his own self-control, because he goes on to explain that he has become a victim of porn! While attempting to visit Facebook, Sevier accidentally typed “another word starting with F”-book, and the site he arrived at “appealed to his biological sensibilities as a male and led to an unwanted addiction with adverse consequences.” He also remarked that he was unaware of the “damage that pornography causes.”

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The lawsuit states that “Apple employees know that a man is born full of harmonies and attacked to by women engaging in sexual acts with the intent to cause vicarious arousal.” That’s a quote by the way; I didn’t misspell hormones. He finally reveals his reason for the lawsuit. The suit states: “The Plaintiff began desiring younger more beautiful girls featured in porn videos than his wife, who was no longer 21” and “His failed marriage caused the Plaintiff to experience emotional distress to the point of hospitalization. The Plaintiff could no longer tell the difference between Internet pornography and tangible intercourse due to the content he accessed through the Apple products, which failed to provide him with warnings of the dangers of online pornography whatsoever.”

Nice with a good laugh on a Friday, isn’t it?

Via CNET

David F.
A grad student in experimental physics, David is fascinated by science, space and technology. When not buried in lecture books, he enjoys movies, gaming and mountainbiking

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